News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Man Narrowly Escapes Barista’s ‘So, Any Fun Plans Today?’ Over Garbage Mumble Rap Song

SPRINGFIELD, OR — A local man successfully executed a highly strategic window roll-up maneuver this morning, narrowly avoiding both an excessively friendly Dutch Bros barista and the ear-piercing bass of yet another shitty mumble rap track. Eyewitnesses report that 35-year-old Michael Davidson, a...

Voted Best Place for Sunbathing, Oregon Coast Proudly Embraces its 1 Day of Summer

In a development that has surprised absolutely no one, the Oregon Coast has been voted the best place for sunbathing in 2025. The announcement was made by the Totally Legit Travel Awards committee, who, after an extensive survey of places with cold wind, relentless rain, and the occasional 42...

Cat’s Patience Wearing Thin as Litter Box Remains Uncleaned

SPRINGFIELD, OR — Local feline resident and self-proclaimed ruler of the household, Mr. Whiskers, is reportedly reaching his breaking point over the state of his litter box. Sources close to the cat say his patience is wearing thin as his human, Becky Thompson, continues to neglect what Mr....

Greater Idaho Plans Halted: “We Won’t Let The Devil’s Lettuce Corrupt Our Righteous State”

In a shocking yet somehow predictable turn of events, Idaho has officially pulled out of the Greater Idaho Movement, citing grave concerns over what officials have dubbed “the Devil’s Garden of Unholy Plants” festering just across the state line in Oregon. “We had a vision,” explained Idaho’s...

Forgotten Laundry Basket Scheduled for Relocation Delayed Due to Lack of Motivation

In a shocking turn of events, a forgotten laundry basket brimming with clean clothes has yet again failed to complete its journey from the living room to the bedroom, citing "lack of motivation" as the primary reason for the delay. The laundry basket, affectionately known by the household as...
Dead Humpback Whale Washes Ashore on Oregon Coast

Dead Humpback Whale Washes Ashore on Oregon Coast

Officials are urging the public to avoid a stretch of the north Oregon coast after a dead humpback whale washed ashore Monday morning in Nehalem Bay State Park, just south of Manzanita. The 33-foot-long male whale came on shore about a mile north of the north Nehalem...

13th Oregon County Approves ‘Greater Idaho’ Measure

13th Oregon County Approves ‘Greater Idaho’ Measure

Diverging perspectives on crime and social policies create a rift between urban and rural populations. The secession proposal aims to move Oregon's eastern boundary 200 miles to the west. Crook County voters approved the measure with 53% in favor. Residents of Crook...

Young Woman Dies After Falling from Cliff in Columbia River Gorge

Young Woman Dies After Falling from Cliff in Columbia River Gorge

A young woman lost her life after a tragic fall from a cliff while hiking in the Columbia River Gorge in Oregon, authorities reported on Monday. The incident occurred near Horsetail Falls, located approximately 35 miles east of Portland. On Sunday, the woman, hiking...

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