Humor

10 Tips on How to Immediately Derail the Portland Talk After Admitting You’re From Oregon

So you’ve made the rookie mistake. You told someone you’re from Oregon. You were just trying to be polite. Maybe you thought they’d ask about Crater Lake or comment on how green everything is. But instead, their eyes lit up and they launched straight into the vortex: “Ohhhh... Portland, huh?...

Bend Woman Catches 7-Foot Crawdad in Deschutes River

BEND, Ore. — In what officials are calling “either a miracle or a minor kaiju sighting,” a Bend woman has reportedly reeled in a 7-foot-long crawdad from the Deschutes River. Sarah Lynn Haverford, 33, said she was enjoying a peaceful afternoon by the river when she felt a “slight tug” on her line...

Experts Say Hot Springs Are the Secret to Romance if the Right Person Sees You

In the misty mountains of the Pacific Northwest, a new romance trend is bubbling up—literally. Experts say that the secret to romance in this neck of the woods might just lie in the region’s famous hot springs. But, there’s a catch: it only works if the right person happens to catch a glimpse of...

Ozzy Osbourne To Headline Heaven’s Main Stage, Lucifer Sues For Breach Of Contract

HEAVEN — In what celestial insiders are calling the most shocking lineup shakeup in millennia, sources confirmed Tuesday that heavy metal icon Ozzy Osbourne will headline Heaven’s main stage this summer, prompting Lucifer himself to file a breach of contract lawsuit in the Infernal Courts. “Look,...

New Oregon Coast Park Lets Tourists Ride Dolphins Like Sea Cowboys

BANDON, OR — In a bold move that has marine biologists questioning their life choices, a new Oregon Coast attraction is allowing visitors to “saddle up” and ride dolphins like aquatic cowboys. The park, officially named Flipper Junction Adventure Park, opened this week to massive crowds of...
Bend Woman Catches 7-Foot Crawdad in Deschutes River

Bend Woman Catches 7-Foot Crawdad in Deschutes River

BEND, Ore. — In what officials are calling “either a miracle or a minor kaiju sighting,” a Bend woman has reportedly reeled in a 7-foot-long crawdad from the Deschutes River. Sarah Lynn Haverford, 33, said she was enjoying a peaceful afternoon by the river when she...

X