SALEM, Ore. — After decades of concern over melting glaciers, rising oceans, drought, wildfires, plastic pollution and the slow destruction of the natural world, scientists announced this week that the planet has finally been restored to perfect health thanks to...
Humor
Bend City Council Considers Ban On Vehicles Without Bike Rack, Ski Rack, Or Kayak Straps
BEND, OR — In what city officials are calling a long-overdue effort to “protect Bend’s visual identity,” the Bend City Council is reportedly considering a new ordinance that would prohibit vehicles from operating within city limits unless they are equipped with at...
Portland Man on Meth Breaks Into Business, Gets Shot, Then Sues for $10 Million and Gets Nothing
A bizarre Portland case involving an early-morning break-in, a business owner jolted awake inside his own building, a pair of bolt cutters, three gunshots, and a $10 million lawsuit has finally reached its conclusion, and it is the kind of story that perfectly...
19 Reasons You Should Definitely Move To Oregon
Thinking about moving to Oregon? Excellent decision. Ignore the rain, housing prices, wildfire smoke, traffic, taxes, and enormous earthquake fault lurking offshore. Those aren't problems. They're amenities. Here are 18 reasons you should absolutely pack up the U-Haul...
Shirtless Hiker Holds Glorious Pose For Five Minutes So Nobody Mistakes The Majestic Mountain For The Main Attraction
MOUNT HOOD NATIONAL FOREST, Ore. — Pausing at a sweeping overlook surrounded by snowcapped peaks, old-growth forest, and a vast mountain valley, local hiker Brandon Mercer reportedly removed his shirt and struck a glorious hands-on-hips pose Sunday to ensure no one...
Local Deer Photographs Goofy Human Taking 47th Identical Selfie Of The Morning
CANNON BEACH, Ore. — A local black-tailed deer captured a remarkable photograph Saturday morning of an Oregon Coast visitor taking what witnesses confirmed was her 47th nearly identical selfie in front of Haystack Rock. The deer, identified by nearby wildlife as a...
Kotek Announces Plan To Unite Oregon This Fourth Of July By Posting Another Divisive Facebook Rant About Trump
SALEM, OR — As Oregonians celebrate the Fourth of July today with fireworks, family barbecues, flags, parades, and the annual tradition of pretending everyone can get along for at least one afternoon, Governor Tina Kotek is marking the holiday with her own bold...
Family’s Wholesome Weekend Plans To Unplug At Lake Cabin Ruined By Lack Of WiFi
What was supposed to be a wholesome family plan to unplug at a lake cabin quickly collapsed into emotional devastation after the Miller family discovered the getaway they had been romanticizing for weeks did, in fact, require them to go without reliable WiFi. The...
Oregon State Capitol Unveils Kate Brown Portrait In Iconic COVID Christmas Snow Globe Mask
SALEM, Ore. — Oregon officials gathered at the State Capitol Monday for the unveiling of former Governor Kate Brown's official portrait, revealing what many historians now consider the most recognizable symbol of Oregon's COVID era: the legendary Christmas snow globe...
PORTLAND, Ore. — In what officials are calling a major step forward for aquatic inclusivity, Oregon announced this week that all public swimming pools will be required to employ at least one certified drag queen lifeguard during Pride Month. The new program,...
Portland Celebrates 10 Years Of Solving Mental Health By Ignoring It
PORTLAND, Ore. — Standing alongside state and federal law enforcement partners at a packed press conference Tuesday morning, Multnomah County officials proudly announced the successful completion of Portland's ten-year strategy for addressing mental illness by doing...
ODFW Confirms Sighting Of Extremely Rare Portland Seagull
PORTLAND, Ore. — Wildlife officials say they've confirmed the first documented sighting of an Extremely Rare Portland Seagull, a subspecies long believed to exist only in stories told by brewery owners, baristas, and people who somehow manage to turn every...











