PORTLAND, OR — After years of observation, analysis, and quietly judgmental note-taking, researchers have formally admitted they still do not understand why Portland residents look the way they do. The announcement came Tuesday from a multidisciplinary research team...
There are Oregon towns you pass through.There are Oregon towns you stay in for a bit.And then there are Oregon towns that quietly enroll you in something permanent. Nobody ever announces they’re staying forever. They say things like “just for now,” or “until I figure...
CANNON BEACH, OR — Witnesses confirmed Tuesday that a local seagull brazenly stole several French fries from an unattended basket while maintaining prolonged, unblinking eye contact with the victim, clearly signaling that the theft was both intentional and...
SALEM, OR — Standing beneath a banner reading “Progress Takes Time (And Money)”, Oregon leaders this week announced a bold new plan to address homelessness, housing affordability, addiction, and public safety by requesting another $500 billion to retry the same...
PORTLAND, Ore. — A popular inner-Portland coffee shop announced this week that it will no longer serve customers who cannot clearly articulate something they actively hate, citing a “longstanding cultural mismatch” with people who appear content, neutral, or...
PORTLAND, Ore. — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued an unusual public health advisory Tuesday warning that prolonged exposure to Portland may result in the sudden, unexplained development of a nose ring, even among individuals with no prior history...
PORTLAND, OR — As Portland moves deeper into 2026, experts say the city has reached a critical moment: how to allow white people to continue appearing white while dramatically reducing the harm associated with it. According to local activists, DEI consultants, and at...
PORTLAND, OR — City leaders and local news outlets confirmed this week that Portland’s downtown is officially “back,” citing increased foot traffic, renewed holiday shopping interest, and a thriving public yoga scene that appears to require no studios, memberships, or...
WILLAMETTE VALLEY, OR — City officials issued a blunt but widely appreciated advisory Wednesday morning urging residents to remain indoors after a night of relentless rain, howling wind, and power outages that left much of the valley waking up cold, exhausted, and...
SALEM, OR — Oregon Governor Tina Kotek issued a stern holiday warning this week, announcing that residents who oppose her latest tax bill should not expect to find Christmas presents under the tree this year, calling the measure “a necessary sacrifice for the greater...
PORTLAND, OR — City officials moved quickly Monday to clarify that the recent release of human waste into the Willamette River is not the same poop residents routinely dodge on downtown sidewalks, stressing that while the two may appear similar, smell similar, and...
PORTLAND, OR — Portland officials confirmed this week that the city has officially replaced its traditional Christmas tree with a large, smooth, abstract green object, describing the new holiday display as “bold,” “inclusive,” and “a meaningful departure from...