Kristi Noem Poses on ICE Building in Superhero Suit Just To Remind Tina Who’s Boss

by | Oct 8, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire

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In what witnesses are calling “the most powerful photo op since the moon landing,” U.S. Secretary of Homeland Secretary Kristi Noem, ascended the roof of Portland’s ICE building Tuesday morning wearing a full superhero suit, striking a series of commanding poses allegedly aimed directly at Oregon governor, Tina Kotek.

“Sometimes leadership means sending a message,” Noem told reporters through a headset mic. “And that message is: I own this skyline.”

Eyewitnesses say Noem arrived at dawn in an armored SUV motorcade, stepped onto the roof with a wind machine already running, and immediately threw on a pair of aviators that reflected nothing but pure authority. “She didn’t even check her footing,” said one DHS agent in awe. “She just stared off into the distance like she was waiting for the national anthem to start playing.”

Sources inside city hall confirm that Tina Kotek briefly looked up from her office window, squinted at the spectacle, and whispered, “Not again.”

Supporters described the moment as “a victory for morale,” while critics complained about “the unnecessary fireworks and bald eagle flyover that followed.” Federal officials later clarified that the eagle was not trained but “just kind of knew what was happening.”

After approximately twelve minutes of intense posing, Noem reportedly raised her hand to the heavens and yelled, “Justice—engage!” before descending the staircase, cape still fluttering heroically.

At press time, Noem’s office confirmed that her next stop will be the roof of Seattle’s Space Needle, where she plans to “oversee freedom operations” and “remind everyone who’s boss from a slightly higher elevation.”


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Written By Tyler James

Tyler James, founder of That Oregon Life, is a true Oregon native whose love for his state runs deep. Since the inception of the blog in 2013, his unbridled passion for outdoor adventures and the natural beauty of Oregon has been the cornerstone of his work. As a father to two beautiful children, Tyler is always in pursuit of new experiences to enrich his family’s life. He curates content that not only reflects his adventures but also encourages others to set out and create precious memories in the majestic landscapes of Oregon. Tyler's vision and guidance are integral to his role as publisher and editor, shaping the blog into a source of inspiration for exploring the wonders of Oregon.

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