by Tyler James | Feb 11, 2025 | Humor, Newport, Satire
SALEM, OR—In a bold move that can only be described as "heroically gluttonous," local man Derek Caldwell ordered a fourth basket of tortilla chips at a downtown Mexican restaurant Friday evening. Witnesses report that Caldwell, who was deep in conversation about "how...
by Tyler James | Feb 10, 2025 | Humor, Satire
Scientists have finally cracked the case on one of humanity's most baffling mysteries: why does Daylight Savings Time exist? After years of speculation, historical digging, and a shocking amount of caffeine-fueled debates, the answer is now official—Daylight Savings...
by Tyler James | Feb 10, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
Move over, Burnside—Crater Lake National Park is rolling into the skateboarding scene with the highly anticipated “Volcano Bowl,” a skate park slated to open in the summer of 2026. Already being hailed as the most breathtaking (and vertigo-inducing) spot to shred on...
by Tyler James | Feb 10, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
Move over luxury cars and designer handbags—there’s a new status symbol for 2025: a massive 60-pack of eggs. That’s right, eggs. Once the humble MVP of breakfast, these oval treasures have ascended to the ranks of fine jewelry, rare art, and beachfront property as the...
by Tyler James | Feb 10, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
In a move no one saw coming—but somehow everyone expected—Nabisco has unveiled its newest twist on the classic saltine: a cracker so flaky it practically disintegrates at the mere thought of biting into it. Dubbed the "Ultra Flaky Saltine," these snacks are designed...
by Tyler James | Feb 9, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
Somewhere Deep in the Wilderness — Self-proclaimed hiking purist Brent "NaturePurist87" Henderson, 34, was reportedly furious Sunday morning after discovering that a so-called “secret” waterfall hike he read about on a hiking blog was, in fact, no longer a secret....
by Tyler James | Feb 7, 2025 | Adventures, Humor, News, Satire
SALEM, OR — Frustrated by the complete lack of communication from the Trump administration regarding Oregon’s frozen federal funding, Governor Tina Kotek has taken an unconventional approach: hiring a psychic medium to establish contact with President Trump. "We've...
by Tyler James | Feb 7, 2025 | Adventures
EUGENE, OR — Local resident Kevin Dawson is reportedly still in a state of disbelief after witnessing what experts are calling a “statistical anomaly” on I-5: a California driver properly using a turn signal. “I almost drove off the road,” said Dawson, still visibly...
by Tyler James | Feb 6, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
Portland’s latest progressive traffic law aims to bridge the “understanding gap” between drivers and cyclists PORTLAND, OR – In an unprecedented move that solidifies Portland’s status as the nation's most bike-friendly city, local officials have passed a controversial...
by Tyler James | Feb 5, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
Oregon diners looking forward to a hearty breakfast might need to start checking their fridges before heading out. In a move that perfectly captures the spirit of desperate times, desperate measures, several Oregon breakfast joints have announced a new "BYOE" (Bring...
