Satire

Oregon meteorologists have officially given up. After a week that included sunshine, rain, and snow—sometimes all in the same afternoon—local weather forecasters admitted they are now just blindly throwing darts at a weather map and hoping for the best. “Look, we tried,” said That Oregon Life's...

After 128 years in office, Senator Ron Wyden has announced a bold new infrastructure plan to finally address Oregon’s long-standing wagon wheel crisis. Speaking to reporters from the steps of the U.S. Capitol, Wyden promised that his long-awaited Wagon Wheel Modernization Act would provide...

Springfield, OR – In an extraordinary act of selflessness and technical prowess, local father Greg Thompson, 47, successfully adjusted the microwave clock for Daylight Savings Time before anyone in the household even woke up. “I didn’t do it for the recognition,” Greg humbly stated, holding a...

HEAVEN—After years of patience, countless warnings, and multiple disasters that somehow still weren’t enough to inspire change, sources close to the Almighty confirm that God is now “heavily considering” giving California a gentle push into the Pacific by 2030. “I mean, I gave them everything,”...

A groundbreaking new study has finally settled the age-old debate: according to a nationwide survey, most women agree that a six-inch Subway sandwich is the perfect size. Conducted by the highly respected Institute of Culinary and Statistical Research, the study found that when it comes to...