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New Portland Eatery Lets Guests Cook Their Own Meal Over Shared Barrel Fire For Added Authenticity

PORTLAND, Ore. — In what city officials are calling “a bold step forward for Portland’s ever-evolving culinary scene,” a new open-air dining concept has officially launched this week, offering guests the chance to cook their own meals over a shared barrel fire in what organizers describe as an...

Local Couple Celebrates Buying Dream Fixer-Upper For Only $649,900

EUGENE, OR — After months of tireless searching, dozens of rejected offers, and what they describe as “a full emotional breakdown in a Safeway parking lot,” local couple Ryan and Melissa Carter say they’re finally relieved to have found the perfect fixer-upper—listed at a refreshingly reasonable...

City Of Portland Announces New Tin Foil Sculpture Where Visitors Can “Experience The Culture Firsthand”

PORTLAND, OR — In a bold move city leaders are calling “immersive, reflective, and mildly concerning,” officials this week unveiled plans for a brand-new public art installation in downtown Portland: a towering, hyper-realistic sculpture made entirely of crumpled tin foil. The piece, set to...

City of Portland Confirms First Wave of Affordable Homes Will Be Made of LEGOs

PORTLAND, OR — In what officials are calling a “creative and deeply innovative approach” to the housing crisis, the City of Portland this week unveiled its latest solution: building fully livable, completely affordable homes out of oversized LEGO bricks. Standing proudly in a quiet Southeast...

Kotek To Challenge Trump To Fight At First Recess, Confirms It’ll Happen By The Swings

SALEM, OR — In a bold escalation of political discourse, Governor Tina Kotek announced Tuesday she will be challenging former President Donald Trump to a full-on schoolyard fight at first recess, confirming the showdown will take place “by the swings, where it’s fair.” The announcement reportedly...
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