Satire

Governor Kotek Consults Psychic Medium to Finally Get a Response from Trump

SALEM, OR — Frustrated by the complete lack of communication from the Trump administration regarding Oregon’s frozen federal funding, Governor Tina Kotek has taken an unconventional approach: hiring a psychic medium to establish contact with President Trump. "We've sent emails, letters, legal...

New Law Requires Drivers to Telepathically Predict Cyclists’ Next Move

Portland’s latest progressive traffic law aims to bridge the “understanding gap” between drivers and cyclists PORTLAND, OR – In an unprecedented move that solidifies Portland’s status as the nation's most bike-friendly city, local officials have passed a controversial new law requiring all drivers...

Oregon Breakfast Joints Insist You Bring Your Own Eggs—Or Indulge in Their ‘Invisible Omelet’

Oregon diners looking forward to a hearty breakfast might need to start checking their fridges before heading out. In a move that perfectly captures the spirit of desperate times, desperate measures, several Oregon breakfast joints have announced a new "BYOE" (Bring Your Own Eggs) policy....

Boss at Home Genuinely Cares About Your Safety As Roads Ice Over, Suggests Leaving Earlier

In a heartwarming display of corporate compassion, local work-from-home boss Greg Daniels—cozy in his flannel pajama pants—has reassured his employees that the roads “aren’t that bad,” despite a winter storm dumping over six feet of snow overnight, transforming the streets into a sheet of ice and...

Oregon State Parks Introduce Monthly Hiking Plans With New “TrailFlix” App

Hiking in Oregon just got a whole lot more exclusive. Following in the footsteps of every streaming service, gym membership, and software company, Oregon State Parks have unveiled a brand-new subscription model for accessing public trails, scenic viewpoints, and—yes—even fresh air. Officials claim...
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