Satire

Shirtless Hiker Holds Glorious Pose For Five Minutes So Nobody Mistakes The Majestic Mountain For The Main Attraction

MOUNT HOOD NATIONAL FOREST, Ore. — Pausing at a sweeping overlook surrounded by snowcapped peaks, old-growth forest, and a vast mountain valley, local hiker Brandon Mercer reportedly removed his shirt and struck a glorious hands-on-hips pose Sunday to ensure no one mistakenly believed the majestic...

Local Deer Photographs Goofy Human Taking 47th Identical Selfie Of The Morning

CANNON BEACH, Ore. — A local black-tailed deer captured a remarkable photograph Saturday morning of an Oregon Coast visitor taking what witnesses confirmed was her 47th nearly identical selfie in front of Haystack Rock. The deer, identified by nearby wildlife as a three-year-old buck named Trevor,...

Kotek Announces Plan To Unite Oregon This Fourth Of July By Posting Another Divisive Facebook Rant About Trump

SALEM, OR — As Oregonians celebrate the Fourth of July today with fireworks, family barbecues, flags, parades, and the annual tradition of pretending everyone can get along for at least one afternoon, Governor Tina Kotek is marking the holiday with her own bold message of unity: another divisive...

Bombshell Report Reveals Tina Kotek Has Been Quietly Finger-Gunning Oregon For Years

In a development that has sent shockwaves through Oregon’s political class, a newly uncovered series of highly suspicious images appears to show Governor Tina Kotek doing finger guns in a variety of official settings, raising serious questions about how long this has been going on, who knew about...

Portland Ditches July 4 Fireworks, Adds Emotional Support Tents And Community Cry Circle

PORTLAND, Ore. – While the rest of America spent Independence Day celebrating 250 years of freedom with fireworks, cookouts, parades, and enough red, white, and blue decorations to empty every Party City in the country, Portland reportedly decided to take a more “inclusive” approach. City leaders...

PORTLAND, Ore. — In what officials are calling a major step forward for aquatic inclusivity, Oregon announced this week that all public swimming pools will be required to employ at least one certified drag queen lifeguard during Pride Month. The new program,...

Gov. Tina Kotek Debuts Bold New Purple Mohawk

Gov. Tina Kotek Debuts Bold New Purple Mohawk

PORTLAND, OR — Oregon Governor Tina Kotek shocked residents this week after unveiling a dramatic new purple mohawk during a public appearance, prompting widespread confusion over whether the hairstyle was a personal choice, a political statement, or the result of an...

X