News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Portland Decriminalizes Crime—Residents Now Required to Politely Ask Criminals to Stop

Faced with an unprecedented rise in crime, Portland’s City Council has taken decisive action—by officially decriminalizing all crime. In a unanimous vote on Tuesday night, officials opted to remove all criminal penalties from the books, arguing that traditional laws were “exacerbating systemic...

Gresham Mysteriously Missing from Yet Another ‘Must-See in Oregon’ Travel Guide

It’s happened again. Another “Top 10 Must-Visit Places in Oregon” article has hit the internet, and, in a shocking turn of events that no one could have possibly predicted, Gresham has once again been left off the list. We’re not talking about some small, overlooked hamlet on the edge of the...

Inconvenient Child Declares, “Mom, I Have to Go. Like, Really Bad”—Right After the Final Rest Stop for 50 Miles

RURAL HIGHWAY, USA — In what experts are calling a “statistically impossible yet somehow inevitable event,” a local child has once again declared an urgent need to use the restroom precisely five minutes after the final available rest stop for 50 miles. Eyewitnesses (namely, one extremely...

After Years of Being in the Ocean, Haystack Rock is Moving to Central Oregon—And People Have Questions

In a move no one saw coming—yet somehow makes complete sense in the most Oregon way possible—state officials have confirmed that Haystack Rock is being relocated to Central Oregon, where it will be placed right next to Smith Rock. Cannon Beach residents, long accustomed to seeing the iconic...

Another Oregon Town Ranked ‘Most Adorable’ by a Magazine You’ve Probably Never Heard Of

Yet another Oregon town has been thrust into the national spotlight, thanks to Quaint Living Weekly, a prestigious, possibly AI-generated publication that, despite its apparent influence, no one has actually seen in print. According to the magazine, [Insert Oregon Town] has been officially...
Human Heart Shaped Rock Unearthed on Oregon Coast Sparks Wonder

Human Heart Shaped Rock Unearthed on Oregon Coast Sparks Wonder

In a unique discovery reported by KOIN news, a family from the greater Portland area found a 2-pound rock resembling a human heart in shape, color, and size on the Oregon Coast. The Ransom family discovered this rock at Short Beach near Oceanside on March 29, while...

Everything You Need to Know About Tomorrow’s Eclipse in Oregon

Everything You Need to Know About Tomorrow’s Eclipse in Oregon

In the mystical realm of the Pacific Northwest, an astronomical ballet is set to unfold under the vast, ever-shifting tapestry of the sky this Monday morning. Unlike the celestial spectacle of 2017, where the sun and moon danced in perfect harmony across the Oregon...

Chewing Gum DNA Ends 44-Year Hunt for Oregon Killer

Chewing Gum DNA Ends 44-Year Hunt for Oregon Killer

Barbara Mae Tucker, then 19, was a regular student attending Mount Hood Community College in Gresham until on January 15, 1980 the unthinkable happened. Her body was found by another student near the school parking lot, and it was discovered she had been murdered...

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