Come and celebrate the biggest party on the Oregon Coast at the Newport Seafood & Wine Festival this winter! For 48 years, this iconic event has brought together locals and visitors alike to savor the best seafood and finest wines the region has to offer. Sample...
News
Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.
Oregon Claims 4 of the 5 Smokiest Cities in the Nation
As reported by OPB, over the past five years, wildfires have scorched more than 36 million acres of land across the United States. But the destruction extends far beyond the burn zones—wildfire smoke travels hundreds, sometimes thousands, of miles, impacting millions...
HORROR: Grocery Store Filled With Friendly People Instead of Divisive Political Shouting
Your City, USA — In a shocking turn of events that directly contradicts everything seen on television and social media, a local grocery store was reportedly filled with ordinary people shopping peacefully, with zero political arguments, ideological confrontations, or...
Man Downtown Portland Waving Machete Could Use a Hug
A man in downtown Portland, spotted waving a machete in the air and passionately arguing with a lamppost, appears to be in dire need of a hug, according to multiple witnesses who observed the situation with a mix of concern and understanding. "He wasn't really...
Scientists Confirm Oregon Is the Worst Place on Earth in February
A groundbreaking study from the University of Oregon has confirmed what longtime residents have long suspected: Oregon is officially the worst place on Earth to exist during the month of February. “It’s essentially like living inside a wet sock,” said Dr. Philip...
SAD-Stricken Oregonians Seen Photosynthesizing in Public at First Glimpse of Sun
PORTLAND, OR – As Oregon remains firmly locked in its annual five-month-long “Gray Gloom Death Spiral,” residents are reporting extreme cases of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), with some even exhibiting plant-like behaviors in desperate attempts to absorb any...
Corey Feldman’s Music in “Goonies 2” to Be Used as a Torture Device for the Bad Guys
In a bold and completely baffling creative decision, the producers of Goonies 2 have announced that the film’s soundtrack will be composed entirely of Corey Feldman’s music. But rather than being used to enhance the adventure and nostalgia of the long-awaited sequel,...
Experts Pretty Sure It’s the End Times, But Scientists Insist It’s Actually Just a Tuesday
WORLDWIDE — As mysterious new viruses, natural disasters, and general chaos unfold across the globe, leading experts have announced that they are “fairly certain” this is the beginning of the End Times. Meanwhile, scientists remain adamant that it’s just another...
Jerry Garcia’s Ghost Found Running a Portland Dispensary—Still on a Really Long, Strange Trip
PORTLAND, OR — In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the local jam band community, customers at a small dispensary in Southeast Portland were stunned to discover that the laid-back, tie-dye-clad man behind the counter isn’t just a Jerry Garcia lookalike—he...
GoFundMe Created for Husband Who Thought Telling Wife to Calm Down Was a Good Idea
In what’s being dubbed “the most expensive two words ever spoken,” a local man has launched a GoFundMe after making the rookie mistake of telling his wife to “calm down” during a heated discussion about reorganizing the pantry. “It just slipped out,” the man, now...
Eugene Voted Most Likely to Smell Like Weed Before 9 AM
In a nationwide study that absolutely no one asked for, Eugene, Oregon, has taken home the prestigious title of “Most Likely to Smell Like Weed Before 9 AM.” The study, conducted by the National Scent Awareness Coalition (NSAC), found that 87% of residents and...
Portland Tesla Owner Remembers to Leave Tesla at Home Before Protesting Tesla
PORTLAND, Ore. — In what might be the most Portland thing ever, local resident and proud Tesla owner Trevor Greenfield made headlines on Saturday after momentarily driving his $60,000 Tesla Model 3 to the "Tesla Takedown" protest outside a Portland dealership—only to...