Humor

Christine Drazan Bravely Announces She’s Into Men While Testing Waters for 2026 Run

In a bold move sure to shake up Oregon’s political landscape, former House Minority Leader Christine Drazan has publicly confirmed what many suspected: she is, in fact, into men. The announcement, which came alongside a $55,000 payment to Republican polling firm Public Opinion Strategies, is being...

Husband Says “Mm-Hmm” 26 Times During Wife’s Rant About Neighbors While Laughing Alone at George’s Wallet Scene

SPRINGFIELD, OR — Sources confirm local man David Palmer spent Thursday evening perfecting the art of marital non-listening, offering a steady stream of “mm-hmms” during his wife’s 14-minute monologue about the Hendersons next door while simultaneously wheezing with laughter at the Seinfeld scene...

Nation Agrees $4.99 Costco Chicken Only Thing Preventing Total Economic Collapse

In a rare moment of bipartisan unity, Americans across the political spectrum confirmed this week that the $4.99 Costco rotisserie chicken is the only thing keeping the United States from plunging into complete and irreversible economic ruin. Economists say the chicken’s miraculous ability to...

Tina Kotek Announces All Oregon Lawn Mowers Now Considered Vehicles, Requires License Plates

SALEM — Governor Tina Kotek has signed what critics are calling “Oregon’s most ambitious piece of lawn equipment legislation in history,” officially classifying all lawn mowers — riding, push, gas, electric, or otherwise — as motor vehicles under state law. The new measure, which goes into effect...

10 Tips on How to Immediately Derail the Portland Talk After Admitting You’re From Oregon

So you’ve made the rookie mistake. You told someone you’re from Oregon. You were just trying to be polite. Maybe you thought they’d ask about Crater Lake or comment on how green everything is. But instead, their eyes lit up and they launched straight into the vortex: “Ohhhh... Portland, huh?...
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