RURAL HIGHWAY, USA — In what experts are calling a “statistically impossible yet somehow inevitable event,” a local child has once again declared an urgent need to use the restroom precisely five minutes after the final available rest stop for 50 miles. Eyewitnesses...
In a move no one saw coming—yet somehow makes complete sense in the most Oregon way possible—state officials have confirmed that Haystack Rock is being relocated to Central Oregon, where it will be placed right next to Smith Rock. Cannon Beach residents, long...
EUGENE, OR — Local dad and self-proclaimed ‘grunge historian’ 43-year-old Mike Dawson spent the better part of Saturday afternoon explaining to his teenage son that Eugene was basically Seattle back in the early ‘90s. The two were at the local skate park, where Dawson...
Yet another Oregon town has been thrust into the national spotlight, thanks to Quaint Living Weekly, a prestigious, possibly AI-generated publication that, despite its apparent influence, no one has actually seen in print. According to the magazine, [Insert Oregon...
You know you’ve gained 20 pounds in the last six months. Between your elite-level Netflix binging, late-night DoorDash orders, and a dedicated commitment to avoiding anything remotely strenuous, your body has fully adapted to a sedentary lifestyle. Deep down, you know...
