Fyre Festival 2 is officially happening, and organizers are promising the most authentic festival experience yet—so authentic, in fact, that attendees should expect to be stranded before they even arrive. But this time, founder and convicted fraudster Billy McFarland wants everyone to know that the only people getting scammed are the investors, not ticket buyers.

“We’ve really taken the feedback from Fyre Festival 1 to heart,” said McFarland in an exclusive interview from what appeared to be a speedboat moving at an alarming pace. “Last time, we scammed both investors and festival-goers, and that just wasn’t fair. This time, we’re focusing our grifting efforts exclusively on the people dumb enough to give me millions of dollars again.”

Antonio Brown Becomes First ‘Performer’ to Sign on, Immediately Raises More Questions Than Answers

In a shocking twist, former NFL star Antonio Brown has announced he will be performing at Fyre Festival 2, a revelation that somehow makes the event seem even less legitimate. Speaking with TMZ Sports, Brown declared, “This is AB, and I’ll be performing at Fyre Fest part two in Mexico on May 30. Be there or be square.” He then cryptically added: “Make sure you put that shit on.”

No one is quite sure what Antonio Brown’s “performance” will actually entail, but sources close to the festival suggest it could range from a freestyle rap set, an impromptu dance routine, or just him arguing with security guards about getting paid.

Brown is the first and only performer attached to the festival, and his announcement came just hours after Billy McFarland reassured the public that Fyre 2 was “totally real” and “definitely happening.” However, tourism officials from Isla Mujeres, the supposed host location, immediately responded with confusion, stating: “We have no knowledge of this event. For us, this is an event that does not exist.”

The Ultimate VIP Experience: Getting Stranded Before You Even Get There

This time around, Fyre Festival 2 isn’t waiting until attendees reach the island to make things interesting. Organizers have arranged for festival-goers to experience a “pre-game” survival challenge, which McFarland describes as "a highly immersive travel delay simulation.”

Instead of private jets and chartered flights, attendees will be transported to the festival by a fleet of suspiciously cheap, unmarked school buses driven by men who refuse to make eye contact. The buses, which will depart from random parking lots across Florida, will follow a mystery route that may or may not include detours to abandoned airstrips, gas stations where the drivers mysteriously disappear, and at least one unexpected border crossing.

Once near the island, festival-goers will be greeted with a truly one-of-a-kind arrival experience:

• Boat shuttles? Too predictable. Guests will instead be loaded onto inflatable pool floaties and pushed toward the shore. (VIP ticket holders will be given slightly larger floaties.)
• For added adventure, some attendees will be dropped off on a totally different island and left to figure out where the festival is.
• Customs & immigration? Nah. Festival organizers have coordinated with absolutely no local authorities, meaning there’s a strong chance guests will be treated as intruders and have to negotiate their way past security guards who have no idea why they’re there.
• The first 100 people to arrive will receive a complimentary cocktail, assuming they can find the one bartender who actually works there.

McFarland is calling this the ultimate influencer content opportunity, describing it as “the Coachella of confusion.”

“We’re not just throwing a festival. We’re creating a movement,” he explained, still aggressively stuffing a duffel bag with cash. “The journey is the experience. The struggle is the festival. It’s an adventure—kind of like a scavenger hunt, but instead of looking for treasure, you’re looking for basic necessities like water and shelter.”

Luxury Accommodations: Same White Tents, More "Character"

Guests who do finally make it to the festival will be greeted with Fyre Festival’s signature white relief tents, which have somehow gotten worse over time. Organizers promise they have kept the original structures intact but added “custom ventilation”—which appears to be a series of large holes from past storms.

“We want people to feel that rustic, survivalist charm,” McFarland said. “Like, what’s more exclusive than waking up at 3 AM because your tent collapsed on your face?”

As for food, McFarland promises “a truly unique dining experience,” which appears to consist of half-eaten Lunchables and whatever snacks Billy can convince festival-goers to share.

An ‘Incredible’ Lineup That May or May Not Exist

When asked if Ja Rule would be returning, McFarland responded, “No comment, but let’s just say there might be a Ja Rule lookalike competition instead.”

McFarland previously promised “artists across electronic, hip-hop, pop, and rock”, along with potential MMA lessons and skateboard demonstrations. In a follow-up social media post, he reassured fans that his production team “does not F around” and that there’s “no way” they would ever take on a fake festival.

However, this claim is directly contradicted by McFarland’s track record, the lack of actual artist confirmations, and the fact that Isla Mujeres officials say the event is entirely made up. Meanwhile, rumors are swirling that festival organizers are quietly assembling a "backup" Spotify playlist—just in case the actual artists don’t show up. According to one insider, the playlist “has some bangers” and “should be enough to keep the crowd distracted for at least a few hours before they realize what’s happening.”

When pressed for details, McFarland neither confirmed nor denied the existence of the emergency playlist, but did mention that “Fyre Fest is all about the vibes, and sometimes vibes are best delivered through a premium streaming service.”

The McFarland Touch: It’s Real Because Billy Says So

Despite all the red flags, ticket sales have been shockingly strong, with thousands of hopeful influencers already securing their spots. “I know it’s probably a scam,” admitted one TikTok user, “but, like, if it IS a scam, that’s even better content.”

McFarland, however, remains laser-focused on ensuring Fyre Festival 2 is a massive success—or at the very least, another unforgettable trainwreck.

“The key is to manage expectations,” he explained while casually zipping up a suitcase full of cash. “So this time, we’re letting people know up front: There is a 100% chance this will be a disaster.”

With no finalized location, no confirmed artists, and zero infrastructure, Fyre Festival 2 is shaping up to be exactly what everyone expects—which, in a way, makes it McFarland’s most honest business venture yet.