PORTLAND, OR — Portland officials confirmed this week that the city has officially replaced its traditional Christmas tree with a large, smooth, abstract green object, describing the new holiday display as “bold,” “inclusive,” and “a meaningful departure from tree-based expectations.”
City leaders explained that while the previous Christmas tree was beloved by some residents, it ultimately failed to reflect Portland’s evolving relationship with holidays, symbols, and objects that are perhaps too clearly defined. The replacement, officials said, is intentionally ambiguous, streamlined, and designed to invite interpretation — though several residents admitted it reminded them of something they were “pretty sure they weren’t supposed to say out loud.”
The decision follows earlier attempts by the city to modernize the holiday tradition by quietly removing the word “Christmas” from the Christmas tree altogether, referring to it simply as “the tree.” Officials say the rebrand was meant to be inclusive, but quickly raised difficult questions about why a Christmas tree that could no longer be called a Christmas tree still looked exactly like a Christmas tree.
“At a certain point, we realized the problem wasn’t the name,” said one city representative. “It was the tree itself. Once you take Christmas out of the Christmas tree, you’re really just left with… a tree. And trees carry a lot of historical baggage.”
“This isn’t about Christmas,” said a city spokesperson, standing confidently beside the towering structure, which notably features a smooth taper and an unapologetically singular silhouette. “It’s about winter, community, reflection, and celebrating forms that don’t conform to outdated expectations of what a holiday display should look like.”
Residents quickly gathered downtown to take photos, exchange knowing glances, and explain to visiting relatives that “no, it’s not what you think — but also, kind of.” Some praised the display as a brave artistic statement, while others quietly wondered if the city might at least consider adding lights, ornaments, or anything to break up the uninterrupted green surface.
City officials reassured the public that the object would remain on display throughout the season and emphasized that any resemblance to familiar household items was purely coincidental. “Art is subjective,” the spokesperson added. “If you see a tree, wonderful. If you see something else entirely, that says more about you — and we support that.”
Plans are already underway to defend the display on social media, with officials confirming that questioning its shape is “part of the conversation.” As one city leader concluded, “Portland has always believed the holidays should make people feel something. This year, that feeling just happens to be mild confusion mixed with quiet self-awareness.”
