NEWPORT, OR — In a bold move that experts are calling "a thrilling way to thin the tourist herd," the Oregon Coast Aquarium has officially announced its newest attraction for Summer 2025: an immersive scuba diving experience simply titled "Swim With Sharks."
According to promotional materials, the experience promises guests the rare opportunity to "get up close and personal with nature’s most majestic killing machines," while fully acknowledging in the fine print that “nature may get up close and personal with you too.”
Visitors brave enough to sign up are required to complete a one-page waiver consisting solely of the phrase "Good Luck" printed in Comic Sans, followed by a cheerful smiley face. Aquarium officials confirmed that legal reviewed it for 30 seconds and said, "Yeah, that should cover it."
“We really wanted to capture the spirit of Oregon's coast: wild, unpredictable, and mildly horrifying,” said program director Megan Albright. “This is about offering guests a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Emphasis on once.”
Guests will be outfitted with rental scuba gear, a loosely fitting wetsuit, and a bright yellow flipper decal that reads, "Snack Size," just to help the sharks with identification.
Aquarium insiders say early interest has been overwhelming, with thrill-seekers, adrenaline junkies, and at least one man from Salem who “just wants to feel something again” rushing to reserve spots.
The program is open to adults and teenagers 14 and older, provided they meet the strict physical requirements of being able to scream underwater and sign a waiver without crying.
Organizers recommend that divers refrain from making eye contact with the sharks, splashing excessively, or resembling a wounded sea lion "any more than they absolutely have to."
Swim With Sharks officially opens Memorial Day Weekend 2025.
Refunds will not be offered because, as the Aquarium's official FAQ explains, "You won’t need money where you’re going."
