In a stunning turn of events, the Mexican government has officially declared Spanish as the country’s national language, following the bold example set by former U.S. President Donald Trump, who recently declared English the official language of the United States. The decision, which shocked absolutely no one in Mexico, was announced by President Claudia Sheinbaum Pardo, who assured citizens that the move would “preserve the cultural integrity of a language spoken by nearly everyone here already.”
The declaration came just days after Trump’s historic ruling on English, which his supporters praised as a necessary step to reinforce American values, despite the language already being the de facto standard. Inspired by this courageous act, Sheinbaum gathered her top advisors to finalize what she described as “the most logical decision a government has ever made.”
“After deep reflection and countless minutes of deliberation, we have decided that Spanish—yes, the language that has been spoken here for over 500 years—will officially be our national language,” Sheinbaum announced in a press conference, pausing for dramatic effect. “We hope this brings clarity to all those who may have been wondering.”
The response was swift and overwhelming. Social media lit up with reactions ranging from confusion to amusement, with one user on X, formerly known as Twitter, writing, “Wait… what language did people think Mexico was speaking before this?” Meanwhile, conservative commentators in the U.S. accused Sheinbaum of “copying” Trump’s strategy, with some claiming that making Spanish official was “an act of defiance against American interests.”
In an effort to quell the backlash, Mexico’s Secretary of Culture issued a statement reassuring the public that Spanish had, in fact, been widely used for centuries. “This is less about making Spanish official and more about ensuring our country doesn’t fall behind in the international race for stating the obvious,” the statement read.
Meanwhile, Canada has remained eerily silent on the matter, fueling speculation that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau may be considering his own groundbreaking declaration: that Canada’s official languages are still English and French.
Disclaimer: This article is 100% satire. No, Mexico did not just realize it speaks Spanish. No, President Claudia Sheinbaum Pardo did not hold an emergency meeting to confirm the obvious. And no, Canada is not in deep contemplation over its official languages. If you found yourself nodding along in agreement, please consult your nearest history book—or maybe just take a deep breath.
