It’s happened again. Another “Top 10 Must-Visit Places in Oregon” article has hit the internet, and, in a shocking turn of events that no one could have possibly predicted, Gresham has once again been left off the list.

We’re not talking about some small, overlooked hamlet on the edge of the state. Gresham is Oregon’s fourth-largest city—a thriving metropolis with actual buildings, actual roads, and at least one Starbucks. And yet, when it comes time for travel bloggers to round up Oregon’s “hidden gems,” they’d apparently rather send people to a roadside attraction shaped like a giant shoe than acknowledge Gresham’s existence.

At this point, it’s a pattern. A deliberate one.

What Exactly Are Travel Writers Overlooking?

While Crater Lake and Cannon Beach are fine, one has to wonder: what, exactly, is stopping travel writers from celebrating the wonders of Gresham? Have they simply not heard of the legendary attractions found here?

Consider the following absolute must-see highlights of Gresham:

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• The Dutch Bros Drive-Thru Spectacle – Where else can you experience the thrilling drama of a 30-car-long line at all hours of the day? It’s like Disneyland’s FastPass line, except instead of a roller coaster at the end, you get a 5000 calorie Caramel Annihilator and a barista who calls you “bro.”
• The Gresham 7-Eleven After Dark – Forget Portland’s trendy cocktail bars—this is where the real nightlife is. Swing by around 2 a.m. for a front-row seat to spontaneous street performances, passionate philosophical debates, and what can only be described as interpretive dance battles.
• A Guided Tour of Gresham’s Facebook Marketplace – Who needs antique stores in Bend when you can find a gently used couch for $20 and a completely normal amount of exotic birds for sale in one convenient location?
• The Gresham WinCo Checkout Line Experience – Ever wanted to experience the thrill of survival? Step into the WinCo checkout line at peak hours, where the rules of society no longer apply. It’s every shopper for themselves in a battle of wills and cart maneuvering—will you make it to the conveyor belt before someone with 300 items cuts in front of you? Only the strong survive.

• The Gresham “Scenic Route” – Sure, Multnomah Falls is nice, but have you ever driven down an unnamed side street in Gresham and discovered an entirely new neighborhood you had no idea existed? Pure adventure.
• The Gresham “Unexpected Fireworks” Experience – Sure, cities like Bend have scenic mountain views, and the Oregon Coast has stunning sunsets, but Gresham offers something truly unique: spontaneous, unscheduled bursts of excitement in the form of loud pops echoing in the night. Was that a car backfiring? A celebratory round of festive enthusiasm? The city keeps you guessing, adding a thrilling sense of adventure to your evening stroll.

And yet, despite all of these incredible attractions, Gresham remains conspicuously absent from Oregon’s travel lists.

What Are Travel Writers So Afraid Of?

One must wonder: what, exactly, is stopping these so-called “travel experts” from acknowledging Gresham?

Could it be:

• A secret society of bloggers who have sworn an oath to keep Gresham out of travel content?
• A Google algorithm glitch that immediately deletes any mention of Gresham from travel blogs?
• The fact that Gresham is simply too powerful to be contained in a single listicle?

It just doesn’t add up.

The People of Gresham Weigh In

We asked a few local residents for their thoughts on yet another travel list snubbing their beloved city. Their responses were illuminating:

• “Oh no. How will we go on?” said one deeply concerned citizen while sipping a gas station coffee.
• “Wait, people are writing travel lists about Oregon?” asked another.
• “Honestly, we prefer it this way. The less attention, the better.”

A powerful sentiment indeed.

Conclusion: The Best-Kept Secret in Oregon?

At this point, it’s clear: Gresham isn’t just being left off travel lists—it’s being protected.

Perhaps the world simply isn’t ready for what Gresham has to offer. Perhaps it’s a treasure so rare and so sacred that it must remain hidden from the casual tourist’s gaze. Perhaps, deep down, Gresham prefers its position as Oregon’s most exclusive travel destination.

And if that’s the case, then congratulations, travel bloggers—you’ve done exactly what Gresham wanted all along.

But just know: if you ever do decide to finally recognize this untapped jewel of the Pacific Northwest, we’ll be here. Waiting. At Dutch Bros. In a very, very long line.