Satire

Tired Couple Thanks Motel for Nostalgic Cigarette Scent in ‘Charming Vintage Room’

After a grueling 12-hour road trip filled with endless stretches of highway and way too many gas station hot dogs, Mark and Susan Reynolds were looking forward to a peaceful night’s rest. What they didn’t expect was a “charming vintage experience” that would transport them back in time, courtesy...

Police Release Footage That Looks Like It Was Filmed on a Garage Sale Camcorder, Seek Tips

Newport, Oregon— Local police have proudly unveiled what they believe to be groundbreaking security footage in their ongoing investigation of a robbery suspect. The image, which has been described as "state-of-the-art" by Officer Daniels, features a vaguely human-shaped blur standing near what...

French Press Seals the Deal, Leaving Woman Questioning All Her Past Relationships

In a shocking turn of caffeinated events, local woman Claire Thompson found herself reevaluating her entire romantic history after a first date that featured a French press. What began as an ordinary evening with Kyle Hastings, a 32-year-old marketing consultant and self-proclaimed coffee...

‘I’ve Got All-Season Tires,’ Says Portland Man Who Abandoned Car After 100 Feet of Snow Driving

In a scene that has become a winter tradition in Portland, local resident Trevor Whitaker set out in his car this morning with unshakable confidence and a can-do attitude, despite a forecast that screamed, "Stay home!" Like many of his fellow Portlanders, Trevor believed his all-season tires and...

Confused Couple Disappointed to Find Crater Lake Doesn’t Look Like Post on Facebook

CRATER LAKE, OR — A couple visiting from out of state returned home Sunday after an "utterly underwhelming" trip to Crater Lake. Inspired by a Facebook post claiming Crater Lake was home to a stunning waterfall cascading into a glowing sapphire pool, surrounded by lush greenery and topped off with...

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