BANDON, OR — In a groundbreaking move that combines coastal charm with what some are calling “blatant disregard for gravity,” Oregon officials have approved construction of a fully off-grid Airbnb cabin perched directly atop Bandon’s iconic sea stack, Face Rock.
Dubbed “The Craggy Nook”, the listing is already live on Airbnb for a modest $1,299 per night — or $1,499 if you want the optional harness rental and complimentary “pre-check-in will waiver” kit.
“People keep asking if it’s safe,” said Oregon Coastal Planning Commissioner Brent Withers, standing near the cliff’s edge with a clipboard and an unusual amount of optimism. “Look, we ran the numbers. Then we lost the numbers. But we feel good about it. And that’s what matters.”
Cliffside Comforts Meet Death-Defying Design
The tiny cabin itself features:
- One queen mattress bolted to the basalt
- A composting toilet with 270° ocean views and “light sea mist”
- Wind-powered LED fairy lights that flicker ominously when gusts exceed 70 mph
- A single ladder described in the listing as “more of a suggestion than a requirement”
Despite the exposed location, Airbnb’s official description reads: “Wake up to crashing waves, nesting seabirds, and the faint sound of your own existential dread. Perfect for honeymooners, thrill-seekers, and people with no remaining next of kin.”
Strong Support, Stronger Winds
While the project has drawn criticism from safety advocates and local puffins, Oregon’s Department of Experimental Tourism is standing firm.
“This is the kind of bold, wind-blasted innovation that puts Oregon on the map,” said tourism spokesperson Skylar Driftwood, who helped lead the approval process. “Plus, we added a rope. So, like, it’s fine.”
Local Puffins Are Not Amused
Among the most vocal critics is Percival P. Puffin, the outspoken seabird who previously protested the relocation of Haystack Rock to Central Oregon.
“This is just more of the same,” said Percival, seen angrily pacing the narrow ledge just below the cabin site. “First they steal our nesting grounds in Cannon Beach, now they want to Airbnb the last sea stack we haven’t been evicted from? What’s next, a hot tub on a tidepool?”
Percival and several other puffins have reportedly filed a cease-and-desist through their newly formed coalition, Birds Against Tourism Exploitation (B.A.T.E.), demanding quiet hours, bird-friendly lighting, and at least one designated puffin-only deck chair.
Early Reviews Are In
Though the first guests aren’t scheduled to check in until June, a few adventure influencers were given early access in exchange for waiving their right to sue.
One posted: “Five stars! Incredible sunrise views. Would’ve stayed longer but my boyfriend’s shoe blew off the edge and emotionally, so did I.”
Another wrote: “Not ideal for toddlers or anyone afraid of heights, noises, movement, shadows, birds, or solitude.”
Booking Now Open
Reservations are reportedly filling fast, especially among Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, disgraced crypto founders, and Instagram couples who “just need to reconnect while dangling 300 feet over the ocean.”
When asked if insurance would be provided, Airbnb’s legal team issued a brief statement: “No.”
Still, Bandon officials remain confident.
“It’s definitely safer than it looks,” said Withers again, this time while double-knotting a rope around his waist. “Probably.”
