In a truly heartwarming display of performative activism, Americans everywhere have suddenly discovered the WNBA is still a thing—and are now passionately pretending they’ve supported it this whole time.
The newfound enthusiasm comes not from interest in basketball fundamentals, impressive stat lines, or championship rivalries, but from a viral clip featuring Indiana Fever rookie Caitlin Clark getting hip-checked into next week by Chicago Sky’s Chennedy Carter. Social media immediately erupted, not in defense of Clark’s ribcage, but in a national race-and-gender discourse that made Roe v. Wade look like a friendly debate over pizza toppings.
“I’ve always watched the WNBA,” insisted Twitter user @JusticeForLayups, who was unable to name a single team besides “the Fever or whatever.” “It’s about time people paid attention to the incredible athleticism, the generational talent, and the systemic oppression.”
Meanwhile, WNBA veteran Angel Reese—who wasn’t even involved in the foul—somehow became the center of attention, reigniting debates from March Madness and TikTok. The situation snowballed so fast that ESPN paused coverage of literally everything else to bring breaking updates on whether the foul was A) hard, B) racist, or C) feminist.
Analysts across the political spectrum weighed in, with one commentator on CNN calling it "a watershed moment in race relations," while a Fox News guest demanded the WNBA be "moved to Rumble and dealt with accordingly."
“This is a real opportunity to elevate the conversation around women’s sports,” said a Brooklyn man who learned what a rebound was 20 minutes prior. “Also, Caitlin Clark is the greatest player in WNBA history. She’s... played, like, four games? That’s gotta be some kind of record.”
The WNBA, for its part, has embraced the chaos. Commissioner Cathy Engelbert released a statement reading, “While we don't condone physical fouls, we are thrilled that millions of Americans have remembered we exist. Our next goal is to get them to watch an actual game.”
Sales of Clark and Reese jerseys have skyrocketed, primarily to people who think “field goal percentage” refers to football. Some games are now reaching attendance numbers previously thought to be theoretical.
Experts predict that as soon as the discourse shifts to a different sport, Americans will once again forget the WNBA exists—until the next viral elbow reawakens their deep, long-standing passion for “women’s basketball or whatever.”
