News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Another Oregon Town Ranked ‘Most Adorable’ by a Magazine You’ve Probably Never Heard Of

by | January 30, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire | 0 Comments

Yet another Oregon town has been thrust into the national spotlight, thanks to Quaint Living Weekly, a prestigious, possibly AI-generated publication that, despite its apparent influence, no one has actually seen in print. According to the magazine, [Insert Oregon Town] has been officially...
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State Officials Confirm: ‘Salem Has a Capitol Building, And That’s Pretty Much It’

by | January 29, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire | 0 Comments

SALEM, OR — After years of speculation, confusion, and outright apathy, state officials have finally confirmed what many Oregonians have long suspected: Salem has a Capitol building, and that’s pretty much it. The announcement came during a press conference held in the grand marble halls of the...
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Study Finds Oregon Drivers Believe Left Lane is the Perfect Place to Reflect on Life at 52 MPH

by | January 29, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire | 0 Comments

SALEM, OR — A new study has confirmed what every frustrated driver on I-5 already suspected: for many Oregonians, the left lane isn’t a place for efficient travel—it’s a sacred space for deep personal reflection at exactly three miles under the speed limit. According to research from the Oregon...
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Outrage in Bend as Forest Green Subaru Shortage Forces Residents to Rethink Entire Personalities

by | January 29, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire | 0 Comments

BEND, OR — A crisis of unprecedented proportions has rocked Central Oregon this week, as Bend’s last remaining Subaru dealership officially ran out of forest green Outbacks, sending thousands of residents into a full-blown identity spiral. For years, Bend locals have relied on the forest green...
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Heroic Man Saves Oregon Woman Who Almost Pumps Diesel into Prius Thinking It’s the ‘Green’ Option

by | January 29, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire | 0 Comments

It was a typical cloudy morning at a gas station just off I-5 in Salem, but for one Oregonian, it would become the scene of an epic rescue she’d never forget. Emily Thompson, a lifelong Portland resident and Prius driver, stood frozen in front of the gas pump, her hand hovering dangerously close...
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