In what will likely surprise absolutely no one who has been paying attention to Portland politics for the past decade, the Portland City Council has officially added polyamory to its list of legally protected relationship structures. Yes, really. On Wednesday, city...
Not Satire
Anti-ICE Protester Catches Fire While Attempting To Burn American Flag In Portland
Over the weekend outside a federal immigration facility in Portland, a protest took a bizarre turn when a demonstrator attempting to burn an American flag accidentally set himself on fire. The incident happened during an anti-ICE protest outside the facility, which...
Portland Floats Netflix Fee To Pay For Arts Meant To Convince You To Go Downtown
PORTLAND, OR — In the latest episode of How Can We Tax This Next, Portland leaders have reportedly discovered an exciting new revenue stream: your Netflix account. Portland City Council President John Dunphy is floating a proposal to tack on a small monthly fee to...
Oregon Officials Sue Trump Over Tariffs, Kotek Calls Them A “Tax On Families
SALEM, Ore. — Oregon officials filed a lawsuit Thursday challenging new tariffs announced by President Donald Trump, warning the policy amounts to a harmful “tax on working families.” The lawsuit, led by Dan Rayfield along with attorneys general from more than 20...
Oregon Official Governing Portland Region From Spain, Calls It “Occasional” Visit
According to reporting from The Oregonian/OregonLive, an Oregon elected official has been attending Metro Council meetings remotely for months at a time while sometimes being in Spain, a situation that has many people wondering how “local government” is supposed to...
Progressives Advance Radical Measure That Could Outlaw Hunting and Fishing in Oregon
According to a National Review (NR) report by Wesley J. Smith, Oregon progressives are once again trying to outdo themselves, this time with a ballot initiative so extreme it would effectively outlaw animal agriculture, hunting, fishing, and even animal research in...
Not Satire: After Legalizing Meth and Recriminalizing It, Portland Has Now Banned Gas-Powered Leaf Blowers
Not satire. Just Oregon. As 2026 kicks off, Oregon rolled out 282 new state laws covering everything from health care and consumer protections to deepfakes and marriage age reforms. Some of them actually make sense. Medical debt can’t hit your credit report. Workers...
Area Man Behind on Rent Says He’s ‘Treating Himself’ While Shopping at Tiny Overpriced Hippie Grocery Store
EUGENE, OR — Despite being nearly three weeks behind on rent and actively refusing to open his banking app, local man Aaron L., 34, confirmed Tuesday that stopping by a tiny, overpriced hippie grocery store was “exactly what he needed right now.” “I’ve just been under...
Apparently Portland Has Decided Its Christmas Tree Is No Longer a Christmas Tree
Portland’s long-running holiday tradition took on a noticeably different tone this year after city officials avoided using the phrase “Christmas tree” during the 41st annual lighting ceremony at Pioneer Courthouse Square, referring to it only as “the tree.” The...
You Can’t Make This Up: Dozens of Oregon Students Ate Pretzels Contaminated With Oven Cleaner
You really can’t make this stuff up. In a headline that's now making national news, about 50 students at Fowler Middle School in Tigard got more than they bargained for during lunch this week — when the “salt” on their pretzels turned out to be granulated oven...
FBI Says Four Men Arrested in Portland for Shining Laser at Border Patrol Helicopter Are Illegal Aliens
PORTLAND, Ore. — A routine night patrol over Portland skies turned dangerous last weekend when a U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) helicopter was struck by a laser beam, temporarily threatening the safety of the pilot and crew. Federal officials say the laser...
This Is Not Satire: Portland Rolls Out $100 Fines for Sidewalk Camping in November
PORTLAND, Ore. In news that sounds like a rejected Onion headline but is unfortunately very real, Portland Mayor Keith Wilson has announced the city will once again begin enforcing its camping ban starting Nov. 1. Yes, the same ban that originally went into effect in...










