Not Satire

FBI Says Four Men Arrested in Portland for Shining Laser at Border Patrol Helicopter Are Illegal Aliens

PORTLAND, Ore. — A routine night patrol over Portland skies turned dangerous last weekend when a U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) helicopter was struck by a laser beam, temporarily threatening the safety of the pilot and crew. Federal officials say the laser originated from a Portland...

This Is Not Satire: Portland Rolls Out $100 Fines for Sidewalk Camping in November

PORTLAND, Ore. In news that sounds like a rejected Onion headline but is unfortunately very real, Portland Mayor Keith Wilson has announced the city will once again begin enforcing its camping ban starting Nov. 1. Yes, the same ban that originally went into effect in July 2024, paused in February...

Brookings High School Principal Resigns After Wife’s Charlie Kirk Remarks, Online Allegations Tie Her to OnlyFans and Students

BROOKINGS, Ore. The Brookings-Harbor School District confirmed that High School Principal Tristin Harkins has resigned following a wave of controversy surrounding statements made by his wife, Amber, on social media. Amber is also referred to as Amberlei in TikTok commentary that has circulated...

Oregon’s Jeff Merkley Urges U.S. to Join Allies in Recognizing Palestine as a State

Oregon’s Democratic Senator Jeff Merkley on Thursday introduced a resolution calling on the United States to formally recognize Palestine as a state — the first proposal of its kind to appear in the U.S. Senate, according to The Oregonian. Merkley’s measure, co-sponsored by several other Senate...

Man Drowns After Falling Into Thor’s Well Near Yachats

A man drowned Monday after falling into Thor’s Well, the third such fatality since 2017 at the notoriously dangerous natural feature near Cape Perpetua, just south of Yachats, according to The Lincoln Chronicle and the Yachats Fire Department. Emergency crews were dispatched around 3:40 p.m. after...
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