Move over luxury cars and designer handbags—there’s a new status symbol for 2025: a massive 60-pack of eggs. That’s right, eggs. Once the humble MVP of breakfast, these oval treasures have ascended to the ranks of fine jewelry, rare art, and beachfront property as the ultimate flex for the wealthy.
The trend is cracking wide open on social media, where rich influencers are posting glamorous photos of their egg hauls. We're talking eggs delicately stacked next to Rolex watches, draped over Louis Vuitton bags, and even nestled in velvet cases like the Fabergé of Costco.
“I used to show off my sports car,” says Chad Wellington III, a self-proclaimed entrepreneur and Instagram lifestyle coach. “But now? There’s no clout like rolling up to brunch holding a Costco 60-pack. People don’t even ask if I’m successful anymore—they know.”
The skyrocketing price of eggs has birthed a shady underground market, where “egg brokers” trade cartons in back alleys like contraband. Rumor has it, whispers like “Psst... you looking for a dozen free-range, cage-free? Fresh this morning. No cracks, I swear.” have replaced shady deals on stolen watches.
Financial advisors are also hatching new strategies. “Forget gold or crypto,” says top economic analyst Linda Bernstein. “If you’re not investing in organic, free-range eggs, you’re missing out on generational wealth. Imagine leaving your grandchildren not just money, but a legacy fridge stocked with liquid gold.”
The eggconomy (yes, that’s a thing now) has left regular folks scrambling to keep up. Grocery shoppers are feeling the pinch: “I asked for a dozen eggs, and the cashier asked if I wanted to finance them over 12 months,” says Mark Davidson, who now makes his kids hunt for wild eggs on weekends.
Experts predict this is just the beginning. In the future, we could see banks offering egg-backed loans, engagement rings replaced with diamond-encrusted yolks, and upscale restaurants offering "egg tastings" served by sommeliers in tuxedos.
So, the next time you spot someone strutting out of Costco cradling a 60-pack like a newborn, don’t be bitter—be inspired. They probably had to sell a kidney to afford it, but hey, that’s the price of success in 2025.
