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Snow hurting local Oregon meth head businesses that bank on winter
2 weeks ago

Snow hurting local Oregon meth head businesses that bank on winter

By  •  Satire, News, Humor

 

Tweaker towns everywhere in Oregon — It’s the second snowstorm to pound Oregon, and business has come to a crawl for local meth heads.

The snow and ice is making …
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Oregon offers white girls support group for pumpkin spice latte addiction
5 months ago

Oregon offers white girls support group for pumpkin spice latte addiction

By  •  News, Humor

This fall, the University of Oregon is offering white girls a weekly support group to help them deal with pumpkin spice latte addiction and “their lack of control to impulsively …
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Owners warned not to leave tweakers in a locked car during hot weather
5 months ago

Owners warned not to leave tweakers in a locked car during hot weather

The heat has been coming on strong these past couple of days, and the news is reporting that leaving a tweaker in a locked car can result in them having a serious …
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True Oregonian reportedly driving with the top down
12 months ago

True Oregonian reportedly driving with the top down

By  •  News

 

Some true Oregonian is driving around without a roof, according to sources today.

Portlander and true Oregonian Terry McClean, 46, has recently been spotted on more than one occasion …
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Officials confirm Oregon snowman ran away to join ISIS
1 year ago

Officials confirm Oregon snowman ran away to join ISIS

BEND, OR—  The latest reports from local news sources are confirming an Oregon snowman, who was originally built in Oregon has recently ran away to join ISIS. The first indication …
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Experts warn gluten found in meth could be hazardous to your health
1 year ago

Experts warn gluten found in meth could be hazardous to your health

By  •  News

PORTLAND, OR — Health experts have today warned that meth found on the streets of Portland has tested positive for gluten, a protein composite normally found in several types of grains, including …
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Hundreds Blinded by Sunlight Reflecting Off Pasty White Oregonians
2 years ago

Hundreds Blinded by Sunlight Reflecting Off Pasty White Oregonians

By  •  Satire, News, Humor

Doctors are warning thousands of people in Oregon are at risk of going blind due to bright sunlight reflecting off pasty white Oregonians. Doctors are claiming today over 460 people in the Northwest have already gone …
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Expert Predicts Satan Will Visit Oregon When Marijuana Becomes Legal In July
2 years ago

Expert Predicts Satan Will Visit Oregon When Marijuana Becomes Legal In July

By  •  Satire, News

 

Lock up your animals, and board up your windows Oregon, we have some incredibly disturbing news from War On Drugs expert Linda Blair. Recently, Blair spoke with ThatOregonLife.com and …
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Portland Walmart Fights Back: New Automatic Doors Won’t Open For Tweakers
2 years ago

Portland Walmart Fights Back: New Automatic Doors Won’t Open For Tweakers

By  •  Satire, News, Humor

 

 

PORTLAND, OR – A Walmart in Oregon is trying something new to combat the rising crystal meth epidemic in Oregon. The Portland store has been programmed with automatic …
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