I normally don’t review nachos at fast food joints, but I’ll make an exception, and a fairly regrettable one at that.

It was my lunch hour and I went to Carl’s Jr. I eat there pretty rarely, and forget they have the Green Burrito Mexican food in them. I went inside and saw they have super nachos on the menu, and against my better judgment, gave them a shot. $4.59 for charbroiled steak nachos, why the hell not, right?

 

Steak nachos from Carl’s Jr in Cottage Grove, Oregon

Being slightly classier than most fast food joints, the nachos were delivered to my table in very quick fashion.

The chips were so salty, it raised my blood pressure to probably like 240/170 or some crazy thing like that. Fortunately I survived, because I didn’t see one of those defibrillator machines there.

The steak wasn’t terrible, and tasted about as good as can be reasonably expected at Carl’s Jr. The beans had something of a lumpy texture, and I’m guessing it probably started out as a powdered concoction of some sort that you’d add boiling water to.

One thing I absolutely cannot stand on nachos outside a convenience store, the movies or a sporting event, however, is that nasty pump cheese sauce. And that’s exactly what they put on top of freaking steak! You don’t drown steak in pump cheese, for the love of all that is holy! Gahhhhhhh!!!!!! Steak, and artificial cheese-flavored melted plastic. What a combo. Ugh.

There was a little guacamole and sour cream on it too, and I added some hot sauce to my entree to make it remotely tolerable. After I took a few bites, I added a lot more than what’s shown in the picture.

After I left, my innards were gurgling and I felt really queasy. Fortunately, I had some Tums in my office, because I had a few hours of work left to go before I could call it a day.

What’s the point of this story? If you go to Carl’s Jr, stick to the burgers. They aren’t fantastic by any means, but they are better than most other fast food places.

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